Post by Chris Kraven on Nov 5, 2010 1:30:57 GMT -4
[Scene opens inside a playground. Kids playing on big play equipment, playing duck duck goose, tag, football, GI Joes, baseball, and super heroes. Typical kid stuff. Ya know?
Cheesy music plays. Like a kid friendly movie. We expect to see some kid with a disability cross the finish line, or the little kid finally step up to the bully, and show him whose boss. But it doesn't happen.
The camera continues panning, showing the kids playing, having a good old time. Until the camera finally finds one group of kids. Grass stained jeans, long sleeve shirts, as it's getting chilly outside. One kid even had his mom put him in his winter coat. It's not that cold, but whatever, over-protected moms.
These boys have removed themselves from the group of normal kids. They aren't the typical football/baseball playing kids. They're in a circle, all sitting Indian style. They're taking turns, playing with Full Force Pro wrestling figures. They've got the ring, the figures, the whole shabang. There's a Jessie Clinton figure, Alexander Monroe figure, Genocide, Raven Alexandria, and more. They've even got a Brandi Moore figure, and I'll tell you, the skimpy outfit they put on that...well, basically, the kid's mom probably shouldn't have bought him that figure. Unless he stole it from his local Wal-Mart. Probably did. Little thief.
Anyway, the kids continue playing, banging the figures together, making the sound effects, 'Boom!', 'Bang!', 'Crack!', they finish their matches. Playing with the figures in ways that no real human being could ever accomplish. Powerbombs don't go from the top rope, 40 feet to the arena floor. Alexander Monroe can't do a triple Shooting Star Press. But I guess these kids had imagination.
Now, like someone unplugged the sounds, the music comes to a screeching hault. as the kids continue playing, a shadow overtakes their ring. Their wrestlers stop in mid wrestling move. They all look up, to see one FFP superstar that doesn't have his own figure, YET. They see a FFP superstar that they don't want to see. They see a FFP superstar that out of all the other FFP superstars, they'd rank him last when it came to his popularity. Nope, it wasn't Devon Thomas, or Pierce Deville, or Taylor Clawson. It wasn't even that lousy Matt Kraven...but that was his last name. That's right ladies and gentlemen, they saw FFP Superstar, and future Hall of Famer, CHRIS KRAVEN!
Kraven, dressed in brown dress shoes, a nice pair of dark blue jeans, and a tight white t-shirt, steps into the kids circle, and looks down at them. He's obviously not impressed, and seeing the figures and how they're sprawled out, he quickly loses his patience.
Chris slowly brings his foot toward the ring that is placed in the center of the boys' circle, and kicks it up in the air. It soars about ten feet away from the boys. Their eyes are wide open, staring at the FFP superstar. Too scared too move. Too scared to do anything.
Chris continues looking down at the boys. They aren't sure what to do. The owner of the toy wrestling ring now has tears in his eyes as that was the only ring he had for his figures, and this bad ass superstar just kicked it over toward the swings.
Chris finally breaks the silence.]
Chris Kraven: GET OUTTA HERE!
[The kids now jump to their feet, and run away like a criminal running from the cops. Kraven watches, as they high tail it, not looking back, but just running as fast as physically possible. Chris laughs, and turns away from the kids playing on the playground. Frankly, kids make Chris sick. They are loud, obnoxious, dirty, sticky, and annoying. Plus, Chris has his mind on something else. You see, a few days ago, Chris's step-sister, Kimmy Carmichael, finally convinced Chris's brother Matt, to hire Chris into Full Force Pro. Chris has been a professional wrestler since the age of 16, and why his brother ignored him for so many years is beyond him. Chris is a former XWA European Champion, and a former UFoD Tag Team Champion, alongside his brother. But none of that mattered to Matt. Instead, Matt chose to hold Chris down. Probably because he knew that his little brother would eclipse him, once he had the chance.
Chris wasn't sure what Kimmy said to finally get Matt to hire him, but Chris was glad, and a little thankful toward Matt. Don't get carried away though, the hatred is still there, and won't go away anytime soon.]
Chris Kraven: Finally, my big brother hires me. Finally, my big brother gives me the shot that I've deserved since I was 16 years old. Finally, I will get to come into a federation that isn't crap, and prove that I am one of the best damn professional wrestlers in this world!
[Chris now turns toward the camera. He isn't dressed fancy. He isn't jacked up to the gills with steroids and human growth hormones. No. Chris was a self-made athlete. He worked hard for everything he got, and didn't take any cheap ways out.]
Chris Kraven: Matt...or do you want me to call you Mr. Kraven? Yeah, MATT, finally you give your little brother a chance. Finally, you've decided to let me do what I love, and prove that I am better than you. Because I am Matt. I'm better than you in every way, and starting next Thursday night, I'll prove just that. Matt, the last time you've seen me wrestle, was more than ten years ago. I know you didn't buy any of my DVDs. I know you didn't go out of your way to watch any of my matches in Mexico or Japan. Because you aren't that kind of brother. You're the type to hope I do terrible, and feel good about yourself. Well that stops next Thursday Matt! Because next Thursday I make my FFP debut, and take on FFP newcomer, and next week's trash, Ashley Aiken. Ashley...or is it Ash. Eh, either way, doesn't really matter.
[Chris shrugs the thought off, knowing he's got more things to key in on than the name of his poor excuse for an opponent.]
Chris Kraven: Ash, I saw your promo. And man, way to go! I'll admit, I don't have your long girly hair. I don't have your cowboy narrator. I don't have your steroid enhanced "washboard abs".
[Chris uses air quotes and rolls his eyes at this comment.]
Chris Kraven: I don't have your stupid looking sunglasses, and I don't have the experience you had in adult entertainment. But let's look at that for just a second, shall we? You see Ash, you act like being in the adult entertainment world is something you should be proud of. You think that having sex on film with all of those girls...and GUYS, is something that the world will look up to you about. Well let me tell you something, we all know that the ones who become porn stars are the ones who had their daddies leave them when they were infants. Their the ones who had their mommies neglect them for all those years. And their the ones who even today, can't seem to find anyone to love them. I mean, yeah, of course, some big breasted fake blonde will love you all day and night on film...for a big fat paycheck. But would she give you the time of day if it weren't for that check? No sir, she would not. Because although you may not lack confidence Mr. Aiken, you lack so much more. That confidence is just a front. A front you put up, because you don't want anyone to know that you are a loser.
[Chris starts to slowly walk toward a picnic table that is on the edge of the playground, near the sidewalk where families would normally be seen eating their McDonalds lunch with their kids.]
Chris Kraven: Ash, you can put your front up all day long, and it won't fool me. In fact, come down to the ring Thursday night at Adrenaline, and have pyro. Wear your shades. Show off those abs to the female fans. And hear the puppets in the crowd cheer you. That's all fine and good. But the fan fair stops once that bell rings. Because inside that squared circle Ash, I will expose you for the person you are...the LOSER that you are. You've yet to step inside a squared circle Ash. You probably don't even know what a squared circle is. But you'll find out Thursday. Ash, I'm going to go at you 100 percent. I'm going to school you in the sport that I love, and the sport that I've been engulfed in my entire life. You came here to Full Force Pro, for the paycheck. You got sick of busting your balls, and receiving your cheap little plastic Teenie Weenie awards, and decided, "ah, what the hell, I'll give pro wrestling a try." I have news for you buddy, professional wrestling isn't something that you can just dive into. Professional wrestling isn't something for everyone. You think that your six pack will win you matches? You think that your sexual history will win you championships? Give me a damn break.
[Chris looks to get a bit angry, leaning in toward the camera. But he takes one deep breath, breathing in the bad, breathing out the good.]
Chris Kraven: Ash, you obviously haven't done your research. You ask if I'm the boss's son. Obviously, if you paid any attention to this federation at all, and stopped being a douchebag, you'd find out, clear as day, that I'm Matt's little brother. Also, you say that I've plateaued. And yet earlier on in your poor excuse for a promo, you say that you've never heard of me, and never seen me before. Already making yourself seem like the loser that you really are. That front that you put up for yourself is already proving to be fake...as fake as that fake tan that you have.
Listen. Ash. Call me a loser. Call my family retarded, googly-eyed freaks. That's fine. Call my big brother the bitch in charge...actually, I kinda liked that. He is a bitch isn't he? Anyway, Ash, keep trying to put your front up. Keep having your hillbilly cowboy narrate your every move. Keep playing with your Teenie Weenie awards. Whatever you wanna do, that's fine, whatever. But when you step into that arena in Boston. When you climb into that squared circle...which is the wrestling ring Ash, that's what a squared circle is...you're going to get schooled. I'm going to school you. However, I won't just give you a lesson in professional wrestling, no, I will give you a lesson in life. And it'll be something similar to this...
I'm Chris Kraven. I'm better than you. You, are a loser, who doesn't deserve to be in the same ring as me. But since you are here, I'll gladly cripple you anyway, and send you back to your life of fake boobs, fake blonde hair, fake tans, and fake personalities. I'll send you back to your fake world Ash, and you will have quite the awakening, because as fake as your world is, this world, my world, is as real as it gets bitch. And I'll prove that Thursday night, at Adrenaline...Adrenaline Ash, NOT Smackdown.
[After finishing his statement, he takes another deep breath. Then he turns, heads toward the sidewalk, and walks away. Meanwhile, basically every kid that was on the playground, has now stopped, and watched in awe, as Chris Kraven gave them the experience of their lives, and didn't even have to break a sweat to do so.]
Cheesy music plays. Like a kid friendly movie. We expect to see some kid with a disability cross the finish line, or the little kid finally step up to the bully, and show him whose boss. But it doesn't happen.
The camera continues panning, showing the kids playing, having a good old time. Until the camera finally finds one group of kids. Grass stained jeans, long sleeve shirts, as it's getting chilly outside. One kid even had his mom put him in his winter coat. It's not that cold, but whatever, over-protected moms.
These boys have removed themselves from the group of normal kids. They aren't the typical football/baseball playing kids. They're in a circle, all sitting Indian style. They're taking turns, playing with Full Force Pro wrestling figures. They've got the ring, the figures, the whole shabang. There's a Jessie Clinton figure, Alexander Monroe figure, Genocide, Raven Alexandria, and more. They've even got a Brandi Moore figure, and I'll tell you, the skimpy outfit they put on that...well, basically, the kid's mom probably shouldn't have bought him that figure. Unless he stole it from his local Wal-Mart. Probably did. Little thief.
Anyway, the kids continue playing, banging the figures together, making the sound effects, 'Boom!', 'Bang!', 'Crack!', they finish their matches. Playing with the figures in ways that no real human being could ever accomplish. Powerbombs don't go from the top rope, 40 feet to the arena floor. Alexander Monroe can't do a triple Shooting Star Press. But I guess these kids had imagination.
Now, like someone unplugged the sounds, the music comes to a screeching hault. as the kids continue playing, a shadow overtakes their ring. Their wrestlers stop in mid wrestling move. They all look up, to see one FFP superstar that doesn't have his own figure, YET. They see a FFP superstar that they don't want to see. They see a FFP superstar that out of all the other FFP superstars, they'd rank him last when it came to his popularity. Nope, it wasn't Devon Thomas, or Pierce Deville, or Taylor Clawson. It wasn't even that lousy Matt Kraven...but that was his last name. That's right ladies and gentlemen, they saw FFP Superstar, and future Hall of Famer, CHRIS KRAVEN!
Kraven, dressed in brown dress shoes, a nice pair of dark blue jeans, and a tight white t-shirt, steps into the kids circle, and looks down at them. He's obviously not impressed, and seeing the figures and how they're sprawled out, he quickly loses his patience.
Chris slowly brings his foot toward the ring that is placed in the center of the boys' circle, and kicks it up in the air. It soars about ten feet away from the boys. Their eyes are wide open, staring at the FFP superstar. Too scared too move. Too scared to do anything.
Chris continues looking down at the boys. They aren't sure what to do. The owner of the toy wrestling ring now has tears in his eyes as that was the only ring he had for his figures, and this bad ass superstar just kicked it over toward the swings.
Chris finally breaks the silence.]
Chris Kraven: GET OUTTA HERE!
[The kids now jump to their feet, and run away like a criminal running from the cops. Kraven watches, as they high tail it, not looking back, but just running as fast as physically possible. Chris laughs, and turns away from the kids playing on the playground. Frankly, kids make Chris sick. They are loud, obnoxious, dirty, sticky, and annoying. Plus, Chris has his mind on something else. You see, a few days ago, Chris's step-sister, Kimmy Carmichael, finally convinced Chris's brother Matt, to hire Chris into Full Force Pro. Chris has been a professional wrestler since the age of 16, and why his brother ignored him for so many years is beyond him. Chris is a former XWA European Champion, and a former UFoD Tag Team Champion, alongside his brother. But none of that mattered to Matt. Instead, Matt chose to hold Chris down. Probably because he knew that his little brother would eclipse him, once he had the chance.
Chris wasn't sure what Kimmy said to finally get Matt to hire him, but Chris was glad, and a little thankful toward Matt. Don't get carried away though, the hatred is still there, and won't go away anytime soon.]
Chris Kraven: Finally, my big brother hires me. Finally, my big brother gives me the shot that I've deserved since I was 16 years old. Finally, I will get to come into a federation that isn't crap, and prove that I am one of the best damn professional wrestlers in this world!
[Chris now turns toward the camera. He isn't dressed fancy. He isn't jacked up to the gills with steroids and human growth hormones. No. Chris was a self-made athlete. He worked hard for everything he got, and didn't take any cheap ways out.]
Chris Kraven: Matt...or do you want me to call you Mr. Kraven? Yeah, MATT, finally you give your little brother a chance. Finally, you've decided to let me do what I love, and prove that I am better than you. Because I am Matt. I'm better than you in every way, and starting next Thursday night, I'll prove just that. Matt, the last time you've seen me wrestle, was more than ten years ago. I know you didn't buy any of my DVDs. I know you didn't go out of your way to watch any of my matches in Mexico or Japan. Because you aren't that kind of brother. You're the type to hope I do terrible, and feel good about yourself. Well that stops next Thursday Matt! Because next Thursday I make my FFP debut, and take on FFP newcomer, and next week's trash, Ashley Aiken. Ashley...or is it Ash. Eh, either way, doesn't really matter.
[Chris shrugs the thought off, knowing he's got more things to key in on than the name of his poor excuse for an opponent.]
Chris Kraven: Ash, I saw your promo. And man, way to go! I'll admit, I don't have your long girly hair. I don't have your cowboy narrator. I don't have your steroid enhanced "washboard abs".
[Chris uses air quotes and rolls his eyes at this comment.]
Chris Kraven: I don't have your stupid looking sunglasses, and I don't have the experience you had in adult entertainment. But let's look at that for just a second, shall we? You see Ash, you act like being in the adult entertainment world is something you should be proud of. You think that having sex on film with all of those girls...and GUYS, is something that the world will look up to you about. Well let me tell you something, we all know that the ones who become porn stars are the ones who had their daddies leave them when they were infants. Their the ones who had their mommies neglect them for all those years. And their the ones who even today, can't seem to find anyone to love them. I mean, yeah, of course, some big breasted fake blonde will love you all day and night on film...for a big fat paycheck. But would she give you the time of day if it weren't for that check? No sir, she would not. Because although you may not lack confidence Mr. Aiken, you lack so much more. That confidence is just a front. A front you put up, because you don't want anyone to know that you are a loser.
[Chris starts to slowly walk toward a picnic table that is on the edge of the playground, near the sidewalk where families would normally be seen eating their McDonalds lunch with their kids.]
Chris Kraven: Ash, you can put your front up all day long, and it won't fool me. In fact, come down to the ring Thursday night at Adrenaline, and have pyro. Wear your shades. Show off those abs to the female fans. And hear the puppets in the crowd cheer you. That's all fine and good. But the fan fair stops once that bell rings. Because inside that squared circle Ash, I will expose you for the person you are...the LOSER that you are. You've yet to step inside a squared circle Ash. You probably don't even know what a squared circle is. But you'll find out Thursday. Ash, I'm going to go at you 100 percent. I'm going to school you in the sport that I love, and the sport that I've been engulfed in my entire life. You came here to Full Force Pro, for the paycheck. You got sick of busting your balls, and receiving your cheap little plastic Teenie Weenie awards, and decided, "ah, what the hell, I'll give pro wrestling a try." I have news for you buddy, professional wrestling isn't something that you can just dive into. Professional wrestling isn't something for everyone. You think that your six pack will win you matches? You think that your sexual history will win you championships? Give me a damn break.
[Chris looks to get a bit angry, leaning in toward the camera. But he takes one deep breath, breathing in the bad, breathing out the good.]
Chris Kraven: Ash, you obviously haven't done your research. You ask if I'm the boss's son. Obviously, if you paid any attention to this federation at all, and stopped being a douchebag, you'd find out, clear as day, that I'm Matt's little brother. Also, you say that I've plateaued. And yet earlier on in your poor excuse for a promo, you say that you've never heard of me, and never seen me before. Already making yourself seem like the loser that you really are. That front that you put up for yourself is already proving to be fake...as fake as that fake tan that you have.
Listen. Ash. Call me a loser. Call my family retarded, googly-eyed freaks. That's fine. Call my big brother the bitch in charge...actually, I kinda liked that. He is a bitch isn't he? Anyway, Ash, keep trying to put your front up. Keep having your hillbilly cowboy narrate your every move. Keep playing with your Teenie Weenie awards. Whatever you wanna do, that's fine, whatever. But when you step into that arena in Boston. When you climb into that squared circle...which is the wrestling ring Ash, that's what a squared circle is...you're going to get schooled. I'm going to school you. However, I won't just give you a lesson in professional wrestling, no, I will give you a lesson in life. And it'll be something similar to this...
I'm Chris Kraven. I'm better than you. You, are a loser, who doesn't deserve to be in the same ring as me. But since you are here, I'll gladly cripple you anyway, and send you back to your life of fake boobs, fake blonde hair, fake tans, and fake personalities. I'll send you back to your fake world Ash, and you will have quite the awakening, because as fake as your world is, this world, my world, is as real as it gets bitch. And I'll prove that Thursday night, at Adrenaline...Adrenaline Ash, NOT Smackdown.
[After finishing his statement, he takes another deep breath. Then he turns, heads toward the sidewalk, and walks away. Meanwhile, basically every kid that was on the playground, has now stopped, and watched in awe, as Chris Kraven gave them the experience of their lives, and didn't even have to break a sweat to do so.]
